The Predicament of Mr. Tongueslip

The face of the headless hunter was growing furious and blood thirsty. Lines in his acrid monstrous persona have been reflected even if the milieu was a bit dark; a looming place of vanished souls. The peeping Parrotflee keeps on repeating what Mr. Tongueslip has triggered while Madam Ironknee keeps misleading the hard facts. The headless hunter's eyes grew larger with angst; most etched from the forehead down to the cheeks then to his chin. A little aback from where he stood, he tried to free his deathly blow by showing his fangs. Mr. Tongueslip was feeling a little scared but gathered some strength for what he believed and dared continue his reasons believing to create change instead of animosity. The account which was felt more of an ordeal sparked some thirst of reasons.

The moment Mr. Tongueslip's harangue about his freedom finished, the headless hunter changed his aura from the very baleful to a calmer one. There was a deafening silence in between. White and dark clouds in the sky remained stationary though. Even the beaver's blinking eyes and rodent's tail were put unto a halt. That was a vacuuming silence indeed. The only movement noticeable was the chill of the west wind.

Mr. Tongueslip's thoughts were all running a chase from every corner. He was waiting if the headless hunter will stab him to death or set him free. Mr. Tongueslip never realized what he did up until the silence grew intense - not a moment to debate anything. At last, the headless hunter broke it. He then let Mr. Tongueslip go but with disappointment for he was no way of defying Mr. Tongueslip's rhetoric.

Mr. Tongueslip quickly unleashed himself and jumped out of the cliff in course of getting far away. He rejoined his friend's after that sprint. They went ahead. He asked Ladyheiths if what has happened in her way to the valley of lost souls. She told Mr. Tongueslip that she was attacked too by the headless hunter.

After some hours of talking we went to some cozy place to relax. Together with other friends we ate and had some talks about the day's happenings.

On the next day, Mr. Tongueslip prepared himself for labor. He took a good meal after his bath then headed off.

The work went all fine. Nothing hard or special about it though up until the headless hunter was again searching for Mr. Tongueslip and now also with Ladyheiths. The news sparked some commotion. Mr. Tongueslip and Ladyheiths were in a brink of despair as the headless hunter cast some poison in their souls. The now tamed faces of the two have changed into grave anguish. Unperturbed day has turned into a skirmish.

The others came for support and everybody were thinking as to why the band of deathly hollows decided that feat. The band of deathly hollows was then the subject of dismay, arrogance, injustice and total ignoramus. Their cursive hands and lips were so naked that it even out shone the sun. Mr. Parrotflee just took off and slept; the usual doing of a falsehood masterpiece while Madam Iroknee licked her elbows. The rocks were changed into acrimony. The indifference was felt. The retaliation from the band of deathly hollows was unexpected. It was understood as something from sheer mediocrity. The band of deathly hollows'charade was totally a tweaked and wicked effort to show superiority; it was with the likes of a chauvinist pig indeed!

Mr. Tongueslip met with the headless hunter and now became Mr. Tonguesclip. During that time all he could devised was asking the headless hunter to spare his and Ladyheiths's rebirth in the Newland. Fortunately, the headless hunter concurred.

The day's ended. The journey to Newland has a new course....

Excerpts from The Fifth Mountain

The story has been transmitted from generation to generation so that no one would ever forget : sometimes it was necessary to struggle with God. Every human being at some time had tragedy enter his life; it might be the destruction of a city, the death of a son, an unproved accusation, a sickness that left one lame forever. At that moment, God challenged one to confront Him and to answer His question: "Why dost thou cling fast to an existence so short and so filled with suffering? What is the meaning of thy struggle?"

The man who did not know how to answer this question would resign himself, while another, one who sought a meaning to existence, feeling that God had been unjust, would challenge his own destiny. It was at this moment that fire of a different type descended from the heavens - not the fire that kills but the kind that tears down ancient walls and imparts to each human being his true possibilities. Cowards never allow their hearts to blaze with this fire; all they desire is for the changed situation to quickly return to what it was before, so they can go on living their lives and thinking in their customary way. The brave, however, set fire that which was old and event at the cost of great internal suffering, abandon everything, including God, and continue onward.

"The brave are always stubborn."

From heaven, God smiles contentedly, for it was this that He desired, that each person take into his hands the responsibility for his own life. For, in the final analysis, He had given His children the greatest of all gifts: the capacity to choose and determine their acts.

Only those men and women with the sacred flame in their hearts had the courage to confront Him. And they alone knew the path back to His love, for they understood that tragedy was not punishment but challenge.

Saying "YES" ....

I wish my head bleeds incessantly just to stop it from feeding my entire self the idea of making hard decisions. I am a little angered and dismayed since the very fact of making things work the way they are is far beyond than I could think - they're a mess. I feel stupid sometimes because the things that are supposed to be judged logically are alot of times done with sheer mediocrity. Damn! I'm even depressed with the very fact that I'm scared of past things that will become a vicious cycle and I'm even scared of the things that are yet to come for I may not be able to succeed them. I just hate for I felt so incapable a lot of times. Do you even imagine yourself in my shoes?

Well a lot of times we come across with these types of scenarios or events in our lives. As they say, we take part for every bit of fear, success, anger, bliss, chaos, jubilation and tribulations life brings us. But I like to argue if its really what it is in hard facts. I just thought that things will be different if we challenge ourselves to choose the right path; the right decisions that will bring us self fulfillment. But even so it takes an ounce of courage to say YES for the challenge and a thousand league of faith to go through the next steps.

You know what, I am presently confronted with a huge life changing decision. Yes I have decided it already but the thing is I don't know how to do and go with the rest of the process. I lack the confidence. I feel that bravado won't lead me to rewarding results. But the fact remains, if I'm going to be honest enough then it might spell out doom on my part. This is really tough; tougher than a sane mind could grasp. The fact is, the "yes" part of the challenge has been etched and still a long way to go to make things and let things fall in proper perspective.

I know I can make this work. I just hope our Lord will guide me well and bring forth aid in all the hardships this decision of mine brings. I just pray that I can succeed in this very long battle.

Happy Easter Sunday to all of those who have faith and to all who are yet to have it!!

March 27

This is my first time to write something about my current work; I just disliked my fingers tapping on the keyboard when battling out not to write further - I need to do this though. In all honesty, I was extremely excited about the job I have. I felt so empowered about the new challenges I will be facing. In fact I have alloted some of my spare time to read about C/C++; from the basics to the advanced topics. Not to boast, but the topics were not that difficult as they seemed to be....

Something was bothering me though and the feeling is so intense now that things are a little shaky for me to handle. I hate myself when I'm frank because I feel that I only hear myself too much and its deafening; worse than you think. Imagine this, I have been idle for almost two months already. I didn't feel I was part of something. I just felt so alone inside that the churning in my digestive tract is all I felt. The fleeting weekends became so holy for me during those days and my nights, I spent them with so much reading to medicate the bore-doom that I'm in.

A week came where I was reading some of the Design Documents. They were technical descriptions of the system and the subsystems down to the most detailed part of the project. Our team lead instructed me to do some simulator testing with scheduling. I was just surprised that putting some lengthy integers crashed the system and didnt know why. I need to stop everything and start anew by typing some commands on the server remotely. I just then decided to tell our TL about what happened and he said that I dont have to put large numbers on it and so I did. I dont know how to say why or why not or asked further for I only know half bake of what I'm doing or even little than what I have assumed.

Another week came. I was tasked to read some codes in C++. I did understood some of it a bit and trace the logical flow - gee they were neverending. I tried reading through some programs and most of the time trapped in a weblike chain of codes. I wish I were working in my own comforts; just a wish!

One morning, the group had a meeting about a bug. There was a system crash in our subgroup's module. I was tasked to create tracelogs to identify which data are missing or something. I tried to check the code on how to do it and what functions to use. I then realised that there were already existing codes on tracelogs so I just did the copy and paste. The group lead approached and asked me what was I doing or was I done with the task since it was agreed to have it done before noon. I told him that the tracelogs were already there and so I asked if is there a need for me to redo them. I knew that it was unnecessary and yes it was. The fact that I knew didn't stop me from trying to code and why is that? I was really so excited to do hands-on. I felt a little stupid and stubborn but I had fun doing it. To make things worse, I accompy my work with some chat amongst my peers. I'm not in any liberty to divulge any information though, so that's it, we chat a lot during work hours. I am so guilty about this but I can do nothing about it and in those times I just hoped that I was doing more productive things. Well, the week is over again and the fleeting weekends revitalized me from some boring aspect of my life. But hey they aren't boring okay because I get to play badminton every Thursday. I love badminton now.

Another week came. I already had some hardened expectations about my job. You see, I am a programmer and I'm not doing any programming tasks - not just yet I guess. I missed the late nights, coding on something trying to design and design the systems I am making. I like to puke but that's nasty. Sleeping in the office could be one but I tried to put some pillars in between my eyelids. I wish there was a pin operating automatically to prick me if I was so dead sleepy already. And more realistic wish would be that I'm back to where and what I was doing, the thing I am supposedly doing. Yeah as I have mentioned, a week came and yes I had a great time. Topics from the not so serious to becoming so academically contesting. The trivia chatroom is really spirited and well attended by those who were bored or just wanted to unwind. There were some riddles, puzzles, logic and math problems on the trivia chatroom and yes they made my axons and dendrites to work. It was fun answering those quandaries because on the net I am a member of highiqsociety(unofficial); plugging in visit their site: www.highiqsociety.com. They have some of the most difficult quizzes I have encountered and you will enjoy them. Anyway, I have discovered that I am a little poor on riddles. I need to be more imaginative on these aspect and I admit it was a mistake for me to think that being imaginative is way different from being creative because I realized that they were mutual.

Last March 27, 2007, I went to the office quite sluggish and came almost late. Just when I turned on my pc after I have placed my sling bag on the locker, our TL called everyone for a meeting. I was trying to compose myself not to look so clumsy. I tried imagining myself dozing some caffeine behind my spine through a hose that you drag around in hospitals where a bag of dextrose is placed. The meeting kicked off and I left my pc on its login screen. The meeting rounded up around 11:30 A.M. There were some technical talks and a little of some personal once. There were task assignments and I wasn't honestly paying attention from all those stuffs instead I just have them banked in my head in rote. After the meeting there was a sudden change of plans. The team needs to do OS migration from Solaris 8 to Solaris 10 and that task was assigned to me; it has to be done right there on that day.

I browsed through the excel file as to what to do during the process. I was so excited by the fact that I am so involved with the rush - a little scared since I don't know if I will understand all the things that I am supposed to do. After lunch, I had a 30 minutes nap but I just can't. My thoughts were swirling with a lot of things and they were so uneasy but not nerve rocking. 1P.M. came and I did what I was tasked; doing the necessary changes of the files that were affected in the migration and the excel file really helped me a lot. After I have reviewed my work, it was time to compile the modules. I sent the files to a team mate and he did continue the task. During compilation, errors came in like fire crackers. I told myself what have I done - should I feel responsible of those compilation errors ? I calmed myself by saying that those weird error messages were not mine and crossed that they weren't mine. I did have an OT for we need to finish the compilation and this was my first time to render an over-time in NEC. I love the feeling of doing OT again even if I hated it - so maybe love and hate is asymptotic for real. I got home really late then and it was my first time not to open my PC after work. Though everyone was asleep, our dog named Kibol and our puppy named Brittney were still awake and greeted me with great fond. I washed my face and drank milk. I got some Alpo and bonded with my pets.

Mark this day, it's the first time I got knocked down from a days work ... but I gained a lot.

Conundrum

I have sailed on boats a hundred times,
But haven't got into a ship.
I wonder where will the ship lead me.
Will it be to the farthest side of the earth or a journey to nowhere?
How is it going to be driven then?
Will I remain as a passenger or will I become the captain?

I want to swim with the whales and dolphins.
But I'm scared of the abyss and the looming darkness....
Are these creatures going to make me their own?
Or will these creatures be there just for the fun?
Might be my guardians or worse, the villains.

I love to have an excursion to the moon.
Mars and Jupiter might be interesting, too.
Should I see humans like me in there?
Will I meet some kind of life beyond my knowing?
But I dont know what to do if such exists though.

I want to play a piano.
A violin's music is simply beautiful and ecstatic!
I want to be a part of an orchestra.
I don't know really if I'm the soloist or the maestro.
But the thought is very entertaining - a virtouso on my own.

I want to meet Albert Einstein.
Should that mean I need to travel back time?
Or should that mean I have to be dead to meet him in Purgatory.
No! I need and love to be alive.
But if these happens, what will we talk about?

I love to volunteer in a world charity.
Countries in war and in hunger are the many areas.
But I need to think if I will survive longer than these inflicted.
But it feels gratifying to help though.
I wish I am a billionaire instead and donate enough fortune.

I like to do a lot of things,
But I don't know which one is for greatness.
I don't know either if it's going to be a means to an end.
All I know is I love to do a lot of things.
I need more time ....